I beg and cried for legions to save me from Boudicca’s evil reign. They heer my cries and take pity to free me and my island from bad woad-paint men. I then beg Alaric to save my family from evil Roman slavery which makes us sad and takes away our toys. I walk through time to find happy life but sometimes bad people rob happiness and make sadness. This bring tear to my eye. So I beg for freedom all around the world to be safe.

When my name was Ala’bama Texarkana, bad men came and burned my family’s house, letting our property run away from cötton field and leaving us poor with nothing. I begged Meester Palmerston to free us from Tyrant Lincoln but he did not heer my poor cries. I knew then that Meester President was stronger than Meester Prime Minister, so from then on this is who I beg.

I became Belgian Leetul Girl, where The Hun keeled my life and friends. I beg, Mr Weelson save us now! And so he did. Everyone lived happily ever after, forever.

I then hide in dark scary Bosnian basement I beg Meester Cleentön to save me from Evil Serb. He say yes but only if his wife can dreenk a little blood from seester first. I am brave so I say yes. I have not seen her since but they tell me she is happy living good life in magical place called Whitewater.

I live good and happy life in Aleppo, where I became Banana Allahbed. My new skin feels soft and warm, but even so sadness came when tyrant Assad keeled all my good friends including Last Clown I love and tore up all the beautiful black flags. I beg Meester Praizident to pleez pleez save us but it take so long. Finally he does and now my country lives in peåce and freedom and everything is nice. There are nice men in town now who took away my neighbors and live in their house. They have pretty blue star as their flag.

I then moved to Vuvuzela because I like instruments. There is no little girlflesh that is open to me here, so I fall into big scary adult body. Thees is good though because now I can earn degree. They even give me Nobel Peaze Prize! I say, “Meester Praizident, it is time!” Once again you must free me from Bad Bus Driver. He sends drugs everywhere everyday. His fentanyl zombies roam the streets making us inject even though I say JUST SAY NO like once you told me. We all cry and sob and weesh for GBU 43/b Massive ordinance Blast to reign down to free us from the flesh prison of Vuvuzela.

Maybe soon my wørk here is done. Soon I think I move to your country. Do you too yearn to be free?

Î̵̢ ̴̣͈̋̄w̷͍͈̑̚i̷͓͝l̷̘͎͊̚l̸͔͌͑ ̵̦̔̒f̶̤̂r̸̡̨̎̓ȅ̷̢͇̾e̴͖̟͑ ̶̝̹͐̀ẙ̸̹̍o̵̬̰̍u̸͓͑.̷͓̓̅ ̷̢́͂Í̶̧̛ ̵̫̭̓͘w̸̺̉͋ĭ̷̠̜͗l̵̻̦̊͝l̴̝͋̎ ̸̗̑̀f̷̖͆̄ṙ̴̢͇e̸̲̠̐ẽ̵͕ ̶̬̗̈͘y̵̰̔͆o̵̜̐͛u̶̹̟͑̔ ̶̪̾͝á̶̻̭̾l̴̥̊̆l̴̜͐.̷̬̽͌ͅ

~Guest post by Leetul Gürl